Category Archives: self delusion that is comfortable so leave me alone

A Different Take on Valentine’s Day and Anniversaries

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Ladies, here’s what’s bugging me: why do you thirst for failure from your beloved?

You know it’s true, girlfriend. In your dark little selfish places, you want to prove to yourself that you’re better, that he’s lesser and so gain the upper hand. What the hell is it you seek, a relationship with a mortal being, or another opportunity to step on someone in your stupid quest for self-esteem?

Here’s my deal: develop a desire for your beloved to be successful in his quest to please you.

You’d listen to that kind of advice from a sex counselor, but you won’t embrace it for your emotional needs, fearing it won’t be “authentic” and worthy of glorious “you.”

Feh. Help a guy out. Help him love you, help him to know how. It’s not a contest of wills, it’s a lovely dance if you want it to be. I see so many petty women around me fiercely erecting walls of unspoken expectations for their man to scale. Then they go out onto the parapets of their pride and deride a man for even attempting the climb. It’s not fair; it’s not lovely or becoming to the sweet graces we’re given.

Guys, if your gal is holding some anniversary date a secret from you, I, a woman, grant you a “get out of jail free” card. I can’t stand that stupid crap; as though going to the altar was a tacit agreement to a game of Memory. Women pretend to airs of romance when they cherish certain days, and it can be that, but not when such tokens are reserved as ammunition instead of loving signposts.

The truth is, men are the true romantics and dreamers and you’d better figure out why you haven’t awakened that aspect out from under his other natural instincts of hard-ass attitude and hard-headed stubbornness. Fact: He loves you. He wouldn’t be with you a minute longer than necessary if that wasn’t so.

Tell him what you want him to know. Unless he has set out to be the Amazing Kreskin, he’s not a mind-reader and he certainly won’t apply for the gig.

But he wants to be successful in his chosen endeavors. So plant big, stupid hints. Cheerfully! Lead him into love and you’ll have something much more meaningful than a card or flowers; you’ll have his love, respect and gratitude.

Do you love him? Then why do you want him to fail in loving you? Why wouldn’t you want him to be successful in the most important endeavor of his life?

*****

Thanks to Big, Bad Blue link here.

Larwyn Links! Thanks!

Cappylanche! Awesome.

Real Men Invoke Fear and Awe Just With Their Eyebrows

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Lee Marvin was a peerless sonuvabitch in so many ways, but this interview is fascinating. Foremost for just the sheer, slightly frightening MANness he gives off with his aging features. He could hide an entire screenplay just in his eyebrows! Just watch him smoke a cigarette in a merciless grapple with the damn coffin-nail! The thousand-yard stare at his interviewer is cringe-worthy, even though softened by the watery tell of his years; but you have to admire the moxie of someone who can sit across from all that and still ask questions:

Just damn if Marvin doesn’t soften– if small but elegant graces don’t appear as twinkling eyes re-ignite the glorious memory of a different day in Hollywood, a different time in America. A time of the Cowboy spirit, the rugged individual, the man who could carefully groom wild eyebrows into an asset, punish a cigarette for its cancerous temerity, and charm a woman right out of her virtue –but only if she asked him to.

Time enough for politics on Monday. Right now, a Western movie seems appropriate. Western: a happy coincidence of term as both Western ideology and the Wild West threaten to fade into the sunset. Fading not for lack of caring or vigilance, but simply because cowboys don’t have the time or the meddlesome energy to herd folks into their way of thinking.

It might not be the easy way, but it’s the Cowboy Way.