[Update: This re-post from 2008 is why the Internet hand-wringing about GOP politics bores the Hell outta me. I’m re-posting this just for the smug satisfaction I get when I read this entire series of the frustrations I typed out after the last time we felt this helpless. It only took the Blogosphere about 3.5 years to catch up. It’s lonely out here ahead of the curve. You don’t wanna know what I’m thinking about the Tea Party right now.]
The Republican Party. (Wait! Get back here and sit down, dammit. You need to hear this.)
Surely, it’s no overstatement to say it committed suicide at its highest levels, and you know the military adage about striking the head, so… yeah. Dead.
Good riddance, I say. But hang in here with me.
It cannot and must not be resurrected.
Know what else is destined for the dustbin? Conservatism. (As currently derided and defined.) Dead and gone. Lemme ‘splain:
We have lost the field of ideas while touting Ideals. Here’s the setup that the opposition has very astutely arranged and that the older members of the Party cannot see:
Republicans are idiots.
If you try to swim against that immensely popular and now-ingrained cultural idiom, you will lose again and again. The delightfully puerile and simple satisfaction that unthinking citizens find in calling another citizen an idiot far outpaces the tedium of understanding the race-baiting slander, the selfishness slander, and God help us, economics and things with tangible realities.
It sticks very firmly to the insecure minds that have no time to sort out the complexities of Truth. It carries with it all the adherent needs to know… and ironically all they don’t know. Let’s encapsulate all of the opposition into one powerful, iconic word: Idiots.
Already, Obama’s I.Q. is being paraded around the Internet. Look, Pubbies, doesn’t that seem familiar? Democrats are smart, urban, hip, and relevant. Republicans are old doddering fools. It’s repeated over and over ad naseum on every television show,movie plot, and commercial as a throwaway line nowadays. What, dear friends, is your strategy for overcoming that?
Fear and Loathing
Nothing, not even skin color, is more feared and hated than the label, “stupid.” Chris Rock says not one white person would trade places with a black man. I’ll go him one further: not one black man would trade his place for any color if he had to carry the label, “stupid idiot” around with him.
Nobody wants to be seen as stupid. Not even people with very high I.Q.s can quite shake themselves from the fear of being perceived as one point less than they possess. Mensa membership is soaring! It’s safe in the Ivory Tower. Far above the moose-hunting rabble.
If “progessive thinkers” want to kill children like Sarah’s little Trig, what hope have you of overcoming that sort of fear and hate?
Years ago, you could dismiss a rival as an idiot, but thinking people knew it was a desperate volley and that you were just out of ideas. This is no longer true. Hollywood and the media have erected an Ivory Tower of Hate and you, my thinking friends, are the target of their Hate.
You selfish, greedy, bigoted Idiots.
And so we are left only with, Elitists, as a comeback… which used to be the Democrats’ line against Republicans until they found out that trickle-down economics really do work, and they lost members. So they dumped that insult ages ago. But to fling elitists back at the Democrats merely affirms their opinion of themselves. It’s not like they don’t know how to play this game.
The poor Republicans cling bitterly to Ideals while the devil plays havoc with the Truth. You can’t blame the voters, who are your neighbors, for believing a lie.
The devilry comes in with rejecting the Truth. Folks who do this are called congressmen.
Tell me, Republican Party leaders, how you are going to enter into the twisted world of manipulators who understand how tender and fragile the Truth is in immature minds, and shore up the Republican “brand”? Indeed, you entered into the chamber of horrors and went along to get along. It’s not for the weak minded or self-interested to uphold our Founding Ideals.
You can’t. Your brand is lost, like GM and Chrysler. Not for want of truth in those who still uphold it, but for want of mobility. It’s in the very nature of one who conserves, to be rather complacent, if not smug, in the time-tested Truth of their stand. “Surely everyone can see the beauty of Truth and Freedom, all we have to do is show them.”
No. When the most Beautiful and Redeeming Truth was in play 2000 years ago, it had a bad run-in with the local unions who saw their franchise threatened. So the Truth went underground, as it must today. More on that, in another post.
Think, Idiot Republicans! How did your ass get handed to you? It started two generations ago with the dissolution of the family unit. Women left their homes in droves and relegated care and education to the State.
Even Bill Ayers learned his lesson: direct and violent opposition will not win the day. You must subvert the Young. Because if Idiocy is the nadir of their fears, Education is the zenith of their hopes. Nothing is more shameful and horrifying to the America imagination as stupidity. That is how stupid educators gain power over your pocketbook. You are too busy earning a living you stupid idiot, so that you can hand it over to the teachers. Now, get out there and work, dammit! We need your taxes!
You are NEVER going to turn that tide of working moms. Give it up. Perhaps the Conservative ideal will become bright and shiny again, when more women realize how they’ve wasted their best God-given energies in meaningless menial jobs when they could have been home, shaping a nation. What do you think the non-working welfare moms have been doing? Why would they want to give that up for a data-entry job? Hell no. In their communities and at their churches, they’ve been shaping a generation. Two generations. Ingrained now.
The only way to turn it is to create a new generation. This is something the Good Old Boys refuse to do. Like paternal units who think children should be seen and not heard, they ignored fresh young faces and propped up someone who was, “due their turn.” Republican leaders have become the absent fathers of their Party. They live in D.C. and forget their constituency and take them for granted. They never win back any concessions for their hard-working citizens, just go along with the federal leeching to prolong their careers and line their pockets.
You wanna revive that?
Until Conservatives are finally willing to give up the golf game for the church picnic, and the wave-riders and snowmachines for extra time at home and with neighbors, the insular nature of the Individualist Conservative will secure its demise from the national stage. I’m nothing if not about choice, but if Conservatives aren’t having kids, then why should they be surprised if their numbers are decreasing?
Meanwhile, back in Washington D.C., there is nothing more pitiful than watching old lions who refuse to yield the scepter to younger men and women who understand their own place and time.